gastrointestinal freakout

A couple mornings ago, after taking a dump, I totally freaked out when I glanced in the toilet, and saw that my leavings were bright red. I was like, 'holy shit, I need to call an ambulance!' And than I remembered I'd eaten three slices of the red velvet cake that someone had left in the refrigerator at work that night, and calmed down.

That's all.